Trauma is like that neighbor who keeps popping by to chit chat at the most inappropriate, inopportune of times. Trauma has it's own definition. Trauma has its own meaning. It comes by when you’re resting after a long day of work. It comes by when you’re minding your business on the lawn. It comes by when you’re having an argument with your spouse in the garage..it comes by when you’re with your kids in the backyard. It comes by when you’re already having company and really don’t want it introduced to anyone.
That’s the nature of trauma. Icky, tricky and inconvenient. Especially when we feel we have dealt with it… then we realize it’s still across the street. Staring…
So what do you do about it? You try to get away from it. That doesn’t work forever, as you may have found. We are not built to house and compartmentalize trauma treatment long term. We are emotional creatures, and act as such. Even the most antisocial of us.
In fact, these are some further icky side effects of compartmentalization of trauma:
Psychological Effects:
Anxiety: Persistent feelings of worry, fear, or unease.
Depression: Prolonged feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or loss of interest in activities.
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder): Flashbacks, nightmares, startle response, inducing insomnia, fear of getting “too close” to others, and severe anxiety triggered by reminders of the trauma.
Dissociation: Feeling detached from oneself or surroundings. It’s like you’re in a fishbowl watching yourself experience without the emotional connection. Sometimes this can render you becoming hypersexual, yet detached from the act itself or the emotional repercussions.
Mood swings: Emotional instability and difficulty regulating emotions. Trauma ias several types
Cognitive Effects:
Difficulty concentrating: Trouble focusing or remembering things.******Newsflash here!!!!!!! I often get patients asking if this means they have ADHD.. when really and truly.. they do NOT.. they just have chronic and pervasive trauma that doesn’t allow them to sit and deal with things or are unable to see actions through in fear of failure, pressure, demise, rejection, or pain. *******
Confusion: Feeling disoriented or having difficulty making decisions. Somewhere along the way… trauma beat you down to feel that if only you didn’t do this or do that.. things would have turned out differently.
Negative thoughts: Persistent negative beliefs about oneself or the world. Can progress into body dysmorphia, excoriation disorder, and compulsions.
Behavioral Effects:
Avoidance: Avoiding people, places, or activities that remind you of the trauma.
Hyperarousal: Being easily startled, irritable, or having trouble sleeping. No locked doors. No rooms without windows. No taking Ubers. Fear of not having an exit plan and being physically in the vicinity of an exit.
Substance abuse: Using drugs or alcohol to cope with emotions. I’ve treated patients who find themselves abusing even the “smallest” of things mixed with substances..migraine medication.. prescription meds..vaping even when sick.. and experimenting to a point of losing oneself in order to get out of your head. To be present without the noise. But the problem is that that noise can become deafening.
Social Effects:
Isolation: Withdrawing from social activities or relationships.
Trust issues: Difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships. Dating becomes TREMENDOUSLY difficult and STRESSFUL! You question your friendships, and those who claim to care for you.
Anger or aggression: Outbursts of anger or irritability towards others. You may have outbursts at the worst times imaginable and feel you can’t control it.
Physical Effects:
Fatigue: Feeling tired or lacking energy. You sleep and wake and sleep and wake and can’t get comfortable. Nothing seems to help, even if you had 12 hours of sleep, it felt like 4…
Insomnia: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.
Physical symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints without medical cause.
There is no pretty way around it. I won't say time heals all wounds but it does make it a bit easier to endure. Therapy helps with; getting the tools to mend will help. Talking it out helps. But not just with anyone. It must be with someone you can trust. Earn your story, and provide you with peace to see through it and mend.
Sip sip,
Cre
Ready to do something about it? So am I... let's consider trauma definition and treatment
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